I was beginning to think that Project Pipe Shelving Unit was impossible. That the half dozen or so bloggers I’d run across who had made their own marvelous versions were just Photoshop-faking it. That there existed a vast conspiracy determined to prevent me from DIYing my own industrial-chic shelving.

Let me give you a run down of what it takes to get to this point — day 1 of construction — if you’re anything like me:

First, you will be guided by Morgan‘s comment not to go with the 1/2″-thick pipe she used, but rather 1/4″ or 3/8″ for a sleeker look. You will show up at Home Depot and discover that they do not stock this kind of pipe. You will go to Lowes and find the same thing.

You will go home and log countless hours of internet research. You will discover that you can order 3/8″ pipe online, but the online outlets won’t cut the few custom lengths you need.

You will poll your internet friends, asking them if they know of a hardware store that a) stocks skinny pipes, and b) is willing to cut a few custom lengths for you. A friend will tell you yes, he knows of a place and he has already talked to the staff there for you. You will call this place yourself and be told over the phone that your request is not a problem. You will be elated.

You will show up in person, however, and be dismissed as a crazy lady. You will be hurt. You will wonder if you would have received the same treatment if you had been born male.

You will return to the internet, determined to order the pipes from a faceless corporation who cannot shame you with its “bitch, you want what?!” face. To achieve the custom cuts, you will consider buying the tools necessary to cut and thread lengths of pipe yourself.

You will discover that you can order close approximations of all the lengths of pipe you need — yay! — but not all of the fittings. Flanges, it turns out, are generally not made to accommodate pipe thicknesses under 1/2″. You can buy adapters to make 1/2″ flanges work with 3/8″ pipe, but the adapters are $8 each. You need 6 of them. That plus the cost of the new cutting and threading tools…

You will put the project on hold.

Your father will talk you into trying again. Together, you will decide to settle for 1/2″ pipe. You will go with your father to Lowes, pick out the pipe lengths you need, and get the nice staff there to make 2 customs cuts. You require a few more non-standard lengths, but you will discover that the staff will not cut pipes shorter than 18″. So you will redesign the project on the fly. The store will run out of 1/2″ 3-way-tee fittings, too, so you will go to a second Lowes to pick up the rest.

You will return home with your pipe and start to screw the pieces together to see how everything fits. You will discover that your floor is not level and you will need to shorten the right-most support…. somehow. You will redesign the project again, figuring out exactly where you can subtract length in that particular run of pipe without necessitating another custom cut. You will go to Lowes and purchase two shorter pieces of pipe. While there, you will finally buy the wood boards and paint to finish the project.

And then — only then! — will you have gathered the raw materials necessary to start building your own custom pipe shelving unit.