I’m feeling a little disheartened at the moment. Instead of focusing solely on the things I worry I’ve forgotten how to do — like sculpt, or scrape together a few bucks and a few friends for fun & frivolous stuff — I’m going to try to think of what I’ve gained in the last year.


If I’m something of a shut-in, I’m a shut-in who can make a decent slow-cooked chicken corn chowder. Most of my possession are still in boxes, I admit, but they’re cluttering the living room of a house that I can call my own. And my tiny cement back yard gets just enough direct light a day to grow me a mini vegetable garden.

I’m broke, but I can tell you what a credit default swap is. I’ve learned how to hardwire a lighting fixture. Hey — I get to travel all over the country, and all I have to do is work 13 hour days once I’m off the plane!

There are moments, like this one, when it’s depressing to think of how I’ve wandered off the path that a lot of my friends managed to stay on after college; I haven’t made a single piece of art in months (unless any of the crazy craft projects meant to improve the house count). And I miss having that topic of conversation available to me. I haven’t figured out how to define myself outside of it, maybe, and I end up at a loss for words.

But I guess if I feel lonely — or plain old weird — now, I’m betting there will be a bigger plus side to this experience down the road than my new corn chowder recipe. I can’t seem to articulate what that might be for this closing sentence, but for now, that’s fine.